You know your to horny

... A Hoover Vaccuum seems like the best option for blow job

... You Try to Use Quagmires Ideas to get laid

....When A hot dog bun will just have to do
Grandma's looking dang good in that housecoat...

You get an erection when the dog licks your hand...

You watch Martha Stewart with a bottle of lotion and box of Kleenex.

You get a job in a funeral home to get laid.

You hit on chicks at divorce court.

You shop at Victoria's Secret for your newly purchased sheep.
your cat buys you an inflatable doll so you'll leave it alone!

the old lady next door no longer places pies on her window-sill to cool

all your wrinkles have disappeared

Crack of dawn looks good.

u can beat off to an episode of "golden girls
When the Operater tells you to stop calling or they will block you

Your Credit card is maxed from 089 numbers

Your pharmacy is out of KY jelly and suggests you buy stock

You are well known to every porn store in your area and have accounts at all of them

Your the first one in line for the newest blow up doll.... And You are 1st in the line

your right arm is bigger than your right leg.
A Car Exhaust looks pretty damn good right now.

... Your wang Is the cleanest part of your body

...Watching Re-Runs of Roseanne gets you Hard

when the highlight of your day is getting home and turning the washer on the spin cycle
You get a woody from reading national geographic

...the skin on your hands are the softest around from the amount of vaseline that you use

...You need 7 computers to store all your porn

...You work extra hours just to afford the payboy channel

...Hugh Hefner Know you personally and thanks you for your years of loyalty to Playboy

....Watching woody woodpecker gives you a good idea....

when you wake up wet and sticky from the waste down

the cop starts to put the handcuffs around your wrist and you cant help but notice the warming censation coming from between your legs,

......the jar of giant dill pickles becomes your favorite food, but not because thier edible.

.....when your idea of four play is the nearest golf course.

......you watch the movie Forrest Gump and find it arousing when Tom Hanks says J-e-n-n-y

.....you start making appointments with the gyno every month, there is nothing wrong with a monthly check up right?

Your cell phone is always dead from the vibrate feature

...You dont return your pop bottles for deposit because your too busy with them

...the amount of time your vaccuum is running people think you have the cleanest apartment around

...(This one is for the ladies)You stock up on cucumbers but never eat em

...Your curling iron isnt used for just curling your hair.

both wrist have carpul tunnel syndrom and your only 25

...You think Marge Simpson is one foxy lady

...You see a picture of whoopie goldberg and and get a hard on

The 400 pound girl at the grocery store is starting to look damn fine

These are great!! i was just born horny!